In reverse order, from pet peeves to pulling my hair out.

  1. Saving the world. Who cares about the world? It’s every man or woman for themselves.
  2. Magic wands, or anything that resembles one. Includes lanterns, staffs, amulets, cooking pots, car batteries …
  3. Farm boys. Unless referring to the human cloning of young males on an agricultural basis. Farms are so boring, why leave in the first chapter, otherwise?
  4. Talking animals of any kind (unless you’re Lewis Carroll).
  5. Vampires, especially sexy ones.
  6. Characters who are really good at sword fighting. Includes sword fights. Actually, maybe it’s the sword fights that are the problem. Let’s just cut to the chopping and R.S.I. injuries, shall we?
  7. Potions (unless you’re Alan Rickman).
  8. Legends. The thing’s gonna happen, there’s a legend, alright …
  9. Dwarfs, trolls, orcs … (see [4] above)
  10. Dragons. Dragons, OK? I’m just bored of the big oafs!